


Disarmament

by Aurya



Category: Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XIII-2, Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Disarming Sequence, Gen, Humor, Multiple of a single character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:18:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurya/pseuds/Aurya
Summary: Numerous individuals attend a event which in good will requires that all attendees go unarmed.The individuals in question consist of the sorts of people who know how to defend themselves.And the event takes place in a region where one must defend themselves in order to get there.





	Disarmament

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I got into a conversation about scenes where someone has to remove their weapons, and as I've recently been playing the Lightning Saga I thought I'd do one of those myself.
> 
> This is a totally illogical little oneshot for humor's sake, consisting of multiple characters in various states which have no business coexisting, and several versions of a few characters.

"This should be the place..."

Lightning stepped inside, finding a small vestibule done up in lights to confirm that she had found her destination. A uniformed man was standing behind a desk with a clipboard before himself, and as she neared he greeted her. "Welcome. Your name?"

The question caught Lightning off-guard. "I... was told this was an open event?"

"It is," the man confirmed. "But we require that you enter unarmed, and I think it would be more reliable to have your name for the return rather than to try and remember you as 'the lady with rose hair'."

"Point."

"So, again, your name?"

"Lightning."

Writing it down, "And, your weapon please."

Lightning reached for her holster, popping the grip on her gunblade and pulling it out to set it upon the desk. "Don't get your fingers caught in this," she warned.

The man nodded. "Duly noted."

* * *

"Sazh."

"And, your weapon please."

Sazh reached for his pistols and drew them out, setting them on the table. He started to lift his hands away... and then set his index fingers on the barrel. "Think I just emptied the clips on these," he warned, "so... if something attacks you and you need a weapon fast, don't go for these."

"Thanks for the warning."

* * *

"Hope."

"And, your weapon please."

Hope drew out his boomerang. At the man's confused look, he quickly seized both arms and unfolded it. "Just so you know what you're getting," he mused, folding it back up and setting it down.

"Appreciate it."

* * *

"Vanille."

"And, your weapon please."

Vanille seized her rod, unfolding it manually and then slowly moving it forward to set it on the counter so it wouldn't loose its wires. "Do _not_ move this quickly," she warned.

"...Okay..."

* * *

"Fang."

"And, your weapon please."

Fang pulled her spear off her back, making to set it down before pulling it away. "Actually, would it be easier for you to store it like this?" She separated the shaft into its three segments, folding them together.

"Much easier, thank you."

* * *

"Amodar."

"And, your weapon please."

Amodar crossed his arms. "Um... I left it in the airship," he mused.

"I can't just take your word on that," the man reprimanded. "You can show me the weapon, or you can be subjected to an inspection."

The Lieutenant sighed. "I can show you," he insisted, "but only if you got someone to watch the door while you're gone."

* * *

"Yaag."

"And, your weapon please."

Yaag unfastened his sheath and set it on the counter, blade still contained.

The man double-took.

"It's a sword."

"... _Just_ a sword?"

* * *

"Jihl."

"And, your weapon please."

Jihl drew out her swagger stick, extending it and holding it between her hands inquisitively. "Is this really worth taking from me?" she accused.

"That's plenty long enough to harm someone," the man reprimanded. "Hand it over."

With a sigh, Jihl relinquished her weapon, her attempt to smuggle the manadrives in unsuccessful.

* * *

"Noel."

"And, your weapon please."

Noel pulled his dual blade off his back, setting it down on the counter before tapping the short blade's handle. "Pull this out..." Then he moved his finger to the body of the folded weapon. "...and this gets bigger. So..."

"So don't make anyone's life harder," the man acknowledged. "Thanks."

* * *

"Yeul."

"And, your weapon please."

Yeul shook her head. "I have no weapons," she proclaimed. "You may proceed with your inspection."

"Thanks for underst-" The man paused in the midst of reaching for his detector. "Wait, how do you know...?"

* * *

"Light."

"And, your weapon please."

Light drew her shield off her am, setting it on the desk.

The man raised an eyebrow. "Just a shield?"

"You're free to search me for more," Light insisted.

"...I will, yes," the man insisted, drawing out his detector.

* * *

"Caius."

"And, your weapon please."

Caius drew his weighty blade off his back, setting it against the counter.

The man paused for a moment before aiming a finger at the weapon. "How do I classify that?"

"It's a sword," Caius explained.

" _That's_ a  _sword_?" the man exclaimed.

"It is indeed," Caius admitted. "Albeit a crushing weapon rather than a cutting one. Although, it does bear an eidolith in the hilt. And it is suited to casting magic through."

"...I'm just gonna put 'freak'."

* * *

"Yeul."

"And- Wait, what?" The man raised his gaze. "Didn't you _just_  come in a few minutes ago?"

"Another girl with the same name came earlier," Yeul proclaimed.

"...No, I'm a hundred percent certain you exactly came through earlier," the man insisted. "I thought I told them to close the back doors."

"The entrances are all firmly sealed, bar this one," Yeul insisted. "I am not the same person you inspected earlier."

"Yes, you are," the man reprimanded. Then, reaching for his detector before she could object; "But I am gonna have to inspect you again anyways."

* * *

"Lebreau."

"Gadot."

"Maqui."

"Yuj."

"One at a time, please," the man insisted, raising his finger in reprimanding. "Lebreau... and your weapon."

Lebreau set her rifle on the desk.

"Gadot... and your weapon."

Gadot set his shotgun down.

"Yuj... and your weapon."

Yuj set his machine gun down.

"Maqui... and your weapon."

Maqui set _his_ machine gun down.

The man paused before aiming a finger at the latter two firearms. "Should I make sure yours is yours?"

"Nah," Yuj insisted, "just don't let either of us take off with both."

* * *

"...Claire."

"And, your weapon."

Claire drew her sword and set it on the desk before making to unfasten her shield. That ended up deploying its full breadth, and she bit back a curse as she retracted it again. Once it was closed, she made to unfasten it... and it deployed again.

The man watched her struggle with it for a moment before speaking up. "We can keep it stored at the full size."

"Could you? That would be great."

* * *

"Yeul."

"And-" The man raised his gaze with a groan. "Again with this?"

"I have yet to enter the building," Yeul insisted. "And I can assure you all the entrances are firmly closed, save this one. Neither of the Yeuls you admitted earlier have left the building."

"You would be a lot better liar if you would pretend to act surprised when I mention you're already here," the man muttered, drawing out his detector.

* * *

"Serah."

"And, your weapon."

Serah traded glances with Mog, who shook his head, before reaching into her pocket. Drawing out Lightning's knife, she set it down on the counter, giving the man a firm gaze. "Do not lose this."

"Sentimental token?" the man inquired.

Mog aimed his clock at the man with a warning "Kupo...."

"I won't lose it," the man insisted, picking up the knife.

* * *

"Snow."

"And, your weapon."

Snow pulled off his gloves and dropped them on the counter.

The man gazed at the gloves for a moment before raising his gaze. "You just did that to make a point, right?"

* * *

"Yeul."

The man raised his gaze with a glare.

A quiet moment passed in the vestibule; then he sighed, swiping his hand to the side with a muttering of "Just go."

**Author's Note:**

> If I get a good reaction out of this, I might do more, but for now this is gonna be a one-chapter thing.


End file.
